On the Reasons for Love

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“Do I love you because you’re beautiful, or are you beautiful because I love you?” — Prince Charming in Cinderella, the Musical

It seems like an innocent question, something everyone asks whenever you say that you love someone/them.

“Why do you love him/her?”

“Why do you love me?”

“Why?”

Like there should be a logical, systematical answer. The answer should make sense, otherwise they question your statement of love.Because we’re told there’s a reason behind everything, and there are standards to what sort of person you could/should love.

The truth is, however, that when you are able to answer this question immediately (usually with a list of good traits) then that is not love.

No, you do not love someone because they’re beautiful, or smart, or funny, or kind, and you do not love someone because they understand you or because they always say the right things. You do not love someone for these reasons because beauty fades, the greatest minds will fail, some days people are sad and gloomy, there will be a time when they are unkind, they will misunderstand something you do, and you will argue.

When you truly love someone, you should not be able to answer why. Reasons are for liking people, for tolerating them, not for loving them.

When you truly love someone, you just do.

And when they fail to meet your standards, when you see the dusty corners of their souls and realize they’re nowhere near perfect — just like you are — you love them anyway, if not even more than before.

(Originally posted on Medium)


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